my life sucks!!!!!!! and then sucks some more

Okay so i know its been awhile, but i've been putting off updating everyone else because then it becomes a reality ya know? anyway but today was the last straw... i mean really i lost it. First: i have been living alone since august right in my dads house cause he basically lives with his lastest girlfriend and he completely ignores me unless he needs something. Well he decided a week ago that we would be having Thanksgiving and Christmas here at my house even thou i didnt want them here. because for the past wat 8 years i've been tryin to get him to do that, and stay sober for both holidays. but he always told me not only no but he*l no. and then bam is gf asks him to and its all ok. and i figured that what the heck i wont be here anyways.... see usually i have a bout 4 family things to go to both days:
the Madsens: my family that doesnt have to be: but this year i wasnt invited, and my step dad when i mentioned it said that its cause he was goin to vernal to see my step mom side of the family and when i mention i might go he said "OH they invited you? i didnt think they did?" and then suggested i just chill with my family this holiday!
then there is my step dad, step mom, and siblings but they are goin to vernal, and just like with papa's funeral they didnt invite me infact they said it wouldnt be the best time.
My grandmas: which is still on but its really early and will no doubt end in fighting and yelling
Bikers: but this year dad says i cant go
so now there is my dads: but he is making me do all the cooking and planning, and shopping.
i cant believe him ... grrr and today we made the chex mix and he treated me like come kinda maid and short order cook. and we started cleaning the house and i noticed that everything that belonged to me, or was choosen by me was Thrown literallly into my bedroom which isn't very big at all. i mean everytihng including frmed pics that had been on the walls, when i asked why he said "your to young you wouldnt understand just do what i tell you too, and when we are done we will discuss what you are to do why everyone is here" like my god what am i deformed or something, am i the evil twin or what? i dont get it what is wrong with me and why doesnt he want me around. .....
I HATE MY FAMILY AND MY DAD..... CORRECTION I DONT HAVE A FAMILY!!!!! I THINK I WOULD RATHER BE AN ORPHAN. WHICH I MIGHT AS WELL BE. I MEAN SERIOUSLY.

somedays i think my MOM was right.........

HUGE UPDATE or atleast a start

Well where to start. Um Um i recently sercome to the notion that FAMILY is a joke! Especially mine, at least the biological family. I also think that i've been replaced in my life, and my friend, and my familys. lets see where to start ok my brother: i used to be the one he turns to for everything and to talk to and to help him. But now he wont return my phone calls, when we talk he basically tells me to go to hell. next Paige My cousin/best friend: we talked daily and hung out all the time but now suddenly the only time she returns my calls or txts is when i forget to pay the phone bill ( she is on my plan), or when she needs something, like a ride for her latest boy friend. Then there is my dad: well put it this way he hasn't slept in our house since the second weekend in august. and lets things slip all the time like "im come over to your house" "i'll buy groceries for your place" or "what do you need for your house" even stuff like" hows your truck holding up" (its his truck im only driving it cause he gave my car away to his ex so that she would leave him alone), today he came over to "my" house and as soon as i got home his phone rang and i quote "ok i will see you soon" then he hung up looked at me with pure disqust "sorry i barged in here without calling ahead i need to use the office computer, i will leave now thou, oh and krystle make sure you rake the leaves, and mow the lawns one last time before snow fall, dont dissappoint me again!" and just like that he left. I dont know what to do or how to take it or anything i just GRRR. im thinking i will take off for awhile over christmas. go outta town and away. since its obvious my family dont want me around or anything.

OH YEAH VOTE FOR OBAMA VOTE FOR A CHANGE!