Well i know it has been a long long time since i wrote on here but i have a very good reason as of late my world seems to have flipped upside down and crumbles around my feet and the foundation to which i built my life on now seem nothing more then sandy beaches. Im not sure you will understand that but that is the best way to explain.
You see lets start with my family; my brother oh wow the problems he has cause himself, drugs drinking stealing cars vandalism running away etc. and then he spent 7 wks in a lock down treatment center in SLC for behavior problems. what a joke behavior problems he needed to get his trash kicked, which is sad since i am against child abuse. and now he is in a day treatment program where i have to get up at 6 drive to there house then take him all the way out to s. ogden and then drive home to n. ogden and then at 3 leave my house to pick him up by four and then drive him to his house. and the worst part this progam is cost them so so so much money that it is affecting other aspects of their well built up world and my brother couldn't care anyless.
my step mom is going back to school and working hard and is always tired yet demands we do things as a family and since she is tired she is cranky which makes everyone else cranky and 6 cranky ppl locked in a motorhome is not a good idea. and even worse she get mad cause i would reather read then fight.
my dad has lost his marbles gone nuts i swear.
my cousin paige is prego....SHOCKER. not anyway she is unmarried and isnt sure she wants the kid. and that just sucks im not sure how her boyfriend aka fiance is reacting for at the time they werent speak and now all wedding plans are suspended indefinatly.
ok now me. well you all remember jake right? well he is suddenly not talk to me at and his new gf asked my permission to date him claiming that she was SO much better for him then i could ever be and ya know what makes it that much worse she is someone i call a good friend. i told her i was totally cool with the fact that my ex fiance who left me to go on his mission and promised to come back to me and that he loved me forever and for always is suddenly long distance dating another girl that is my good friend. and now that she told me he isnt even speaking to me despite the fact that me and him are very very good friends. but yup its totally ok..... wow im a darn good liar cause she is even talking to his family now. which is awkward because i am friends with his cousins and aunt and uncle and every one but his mom and dad and i was over there and she appeard and i dunno what to do i cant cut them out of my life i knew them before i knew him or dated him. now what do i do. and she keeps asking about mine and his pasts like suddenly she needs to compare him and me to him and her. it make me physically sick to talk about it
also i had to take the semester off to work. and my family thinks im failing and will never succed my uncle suggested i follow my mom and just end my life and stop burdening my loved ones with my presence.... that stung and worse i found myself actually considering it. frick i off all ppl should no better but i still thought about it. and now im not speacking to that part of my family. at all i mean nothing.
