im there now

I've been avoiding writing this, cause the second i put it on paper, Its gonna be real, its gonna be a reality....
Have you ever felt so empty inside, so cold that even in 90 degree weather your still wrapped in his Hoddie, and blankets and still shivering?
Have you ever been surrounded by pure darkness, so dark you can't see anything, even though its the brightest day, and the sun is high in the clear blue sky?
Have you ever been in so much pain you have to fight passing out, and when ya look there isn't any physical mark, cuts, or bruises on you?
Have you ever cried so much, and so hard you couldn't breathe?
Have you ever cried so long that you ran out of tears, but no one saw a single tear?
Have you ever felt alone, so alone, like no one was there, even though you were surrounded by people?
Have you ever been invisible, like no one can see you even though your doing great things, like you have to screw up, or do something bad to be seen?
Have you ever wanted so much to just give up to just end it, to just walk away?
Has anyone ever told you, you can do it, cause your strong, and your tough just cause they haven't seen you cry, but you know your not?

I HAVE, IM THERE NOW!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!